This page will be filled with the same old crap you are used to seeing on the internet, but this time it will be my crap you are looking at instead of some one else's.  By the way,  you can tell by the picture below that I am a sexy stud.  Just take my word for it.

I got this picture from one of my friends websites, I thought is was funny so I added it to mine.  It reminds me of a time when I friend and I were chatting with some strangers on the net, we were, well, lying about who we were and laughing our heads off about it.  My friend turned to me and said, "You know, John, we are probably chatting with two teenage boys who are laughing at us." 
Of course this happens on the net often, and sometimes it can be really funny... to others.  Please visit my other page, TRUTH ON THE NET.  It encourages all who surf the net and chat often to always tell the truth, it really is worth a look.  So go and check it out and e-mail me to say what you think.

How 'bout this whole Clinton scandal???
Personally I don't care, the way I figure, he will be gone in a few years any way. He knows what he did (if anything), they (the women) know what he did (if anything), so I don't care.
I won't pretend to be an expert on the subject, but I put the picture on my web page so I had better say something about it, so there I said it.

Aside from my "political interests", I also love sports and cars.  I like sports more, the only thing I like about cars is how they look.  All I know about cars is how to change the oil and a tire, and of course how to drive one (well sorta).
My favorite sports are football, basketball, and tennis.  Odd combination, huh.  Oh yeah, I also hate the designated hitter rule in baseball. 
Another thing I love is jokes.  Below are some jokes I've heard that (to me) were pretty funny.
READ ON.

THE QUARTERBACK-So Al Davis had put together the perfect Raiders team for '98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win. Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away, ka-boom! He threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away-ka-blooey! A car passes going 90 miles an hour-bulls-eye! Right into the barely open window. "I've got to get this guy," Al says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Raiders go on to win the SuperBowl. The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of SuperBowl XXXV, and when Al asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother. "Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won the SuperBowl." "I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You're not my son." "I don't think you understand, mother" the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm in the middle of thousands of adoring fans." "No, let me tell you," the mother implores. "At this very moment, there are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight...." I'll never forgive you for making us move to Oakland.

HOW TO ANNOY YOUR STALLMATE

    1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I
    borrow a highlighter?"

    2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

    3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a
    bodily function noise.

    4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

    5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

    6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

    7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into
    the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

    8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

    9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

    10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the
    stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

    11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."

    12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper
    and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops,
    could you kick that back over here please?"

    13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."

    14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over
    your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the
    balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it
    on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.

    15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

    16. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small.
      Now what am I gonna do?"

    17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

    18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your
    "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent
    stall.

    19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see
    your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

    20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free".

OLD LADY FARTING

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really
doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've
farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because
they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me
next week." The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell
you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent...stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good!!! Now
that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

RUDE FAT JOKES (please don't use them to hurt others, they are funny but rude)
   
    I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
    When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
    They had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
    When she dances she makes the band skip.
    Instead of Levi's 501 jeans she wears Levi's 1002s.
    When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
    When I yell "Hey, Kool-Aid!" she comes crashing through the wall.
    She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
    Her ass has its own congressman.
    Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
    When God said "Let there be light" he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
    When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw HER peanuts.
    When your father mounts her his ears pop.
    Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
    Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
    She can't even jump to a conclusion.
    Her nickname is "DAMN!"
    The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
    She has to iron her pants on the driveway.
    The shadow of her ass weighs 100 pounds.
    She jumped up and got stuck.
    She has to wear two watches because she is in two time zones.
    When she goes swimming the tide always comes in.
    She bathes at Sea World.
    She needs someone else to tie her shoes.
    She has to take a shower at Niagra Falls.
    She uses a Microwave for a beeper.
    When she goes to the beach, 400 men push her in the ocean.
    When she goes to the beach, she is the only one who gets a tan.
    She could be a heavenly body, but she's ugly too.
    She'd be at the top of the food chain, but everyone else can't hold her up.
    When she bends over, there is a solar eclipse.
    When the people in Waterworld saw her they shouted, "Dry land."
    She's going to hell cause she won't fit through the Pearly Gates.
    She was the reason for the sinking of the Titanic...  She got on.

THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A COP IF YOU GET PULLED OVER......

    1.  Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
    2.  And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy.
    3.  Hey, you must've been doin' about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job!
    4.  That uniform makes your ass look really big.
    5.  Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
    6.  I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.
    7.  You don't happen to have any beer in your car, do you?
    8.  "Bad Cop! No Donut!"
    9.  You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
    10. "Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence."
    11. "Lets do it differently this time . . . I'll give YOU the breathalyzer test. Now stick this in
          your mouth and blow"
    12. Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on Cops?
    13. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
    14. Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.
    15. I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.
    16. So, uh, you on the take, or what?
    17. Those sirens are hurting my ears, turn them off or I am not speaking to you.
    18. Gee,officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
    19. "Aren't you the guy from the Village People?"
    20. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just as long as one of us does.
    21. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far
        they are ahead of me.
    22. So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were
        little?
    23. Sorry I can't hear you over the radio. No, I am not turning it down, I love this song. Either
        speak up or just leave me alone.
    24. What do you mean 'have I been drinking?' You're the trained specialist.
    25. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged
        between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
    26. Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
    27. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
    28. "Athsifer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am."